Oh, to be Published!

In Middle School, there was a mandatory class titled PULSE (I cannot tell you the complete version of the acronym anymore because I do not remember). The main aim of the class was to encourage mindfulness, living in the moment, positivity. For thirteen-year-olds, this was the perfect opportunity to zone out and take a nap. I was one of the quieter, more compliant children, and I am loathe to admit I, too, partook in activities that actively disrupted this class. 

My mom’s been begging me to start meditation for years. Something about becoming calmer and controlling my emotions. Sorry, mom. That revelation is yet to happen; maybe by the time my 30th rolls arounds. The cesspool that is the job market dragged me in so deeply that my default became negativity. That’s a hole I’m still trying to claw out of, despite the good that’s transpired of late. Instead, my mind resorted to awaiting the ‘next bad thing,’ because there isn’t any way in which so many events can be catered to my liking. 

While waiting for the ball to drop, I forget to enjoy what’s right in front of me. 

It’s hard to change a mindset that’s been glued firmly in place for 21 years. How do I undo months of approaching everything with negativity, whether it be meeting a new person, an event, an application? Now, when all the edges have aligned and there isn’t any space for more yearning, I find myself keeping an eye out for opportunities to express discontent or frustration. And there isn’t anything left to be frustrated at but myself. 

What do you do when you hit a dead end and the wall has your face painted on it? You change. Get it together. 

Gratefulness is never under question. It’s the stopping to smell the flowers and enjoy the sunshine. It’s an age-old concept that slips through the fingers of many until you have no choice but to acknowledge it. Steve Harvey, in his book Act Like a Success, Think Like a Success,” wrote, “cultivate a positive mindset to attract positive outcomes.” How scientifically backed is this? Is there any evidence supporting this concept? Does positivity beget positivity? 

Barbara L Fredrickson developed the Broaden-and-Build Theory in 1998, explaining how positive emotions like joy and gratitude broaden your awareness, allowing you to build skills, improve creativity, and enhance mental productivity. Several neurobiological studies also explore how heightened self-regulation and emotional processing, byproducts of positive thinking, reduce activity in the amygdala, which is responsible for fear. 

Fear is what holds back most people. Fear of perception, failure, disappointment. If that obstacle is removed — or lessened, let’s be realistic — the possibilities are endless. Failure is still a very real outcome, but the urge to give it another shot remains intact. 

Someone in my social circle took the plunge and began a series on Instagram, each video highlighting a different aspect of university life and what can be gleaned from it. Whether good or bad, every experience was accompanied by a learning metric. A simple concept, yet far-reaching results. 

When we’re knee-deep, we’re often too engrossed to appreciate the growth. In a split second, he turned it around. Why wait when we’re older to look back with nostalgia and reminisce over what we had? Why not value it now? Perhaps the initial goal had been virality, but as a viewer, it forces you to reconsider the way you’ve been approaching daily tasks, how easy it is to take things for granted. 

Though it may feel awkward at first, force yourself. Push yourself to find the good, even if it feels like the end of the world. Fake it till you make it can most definitely be perceived as a panacea; sit in that awkwardness, the fakeness, until one day, it becomes natural. That suspicion you once harboured for every situation, replaced by warmth. The storm weakens considerably if calm becomes the constant. 

The world we find ourselves in, every piece of news hopeless, each interaction bleak, it is harder than ever to find the morsels we consider worth savouring. More than ever, the time is now to do so. Hold others accountable and ask others to hold you accountable. I’ve always favoured realism over optimism but somewhere along the way, I confused pessimism with realism and effectively replaced the latter. Oh, the tragedy. 

Here I am, at a stage where each conversation with myself feels tedious, attempting to set the record straight before the bitterness is irreversible. If someone wants to hold me accountable, please do so. 4 years after graduating high school, I’m beginning to understand that maybe the ‘useless’ subjects were perhaps the most useful of all.