13/04/25

there’s something to be said for nothing something about moving away something about going home with a heavy heart but returning here emptied something about entrapment but something about the pockets of air you find there there’s something to be said for sleepless nights staying awake till 0500 hours until the right person has you dead to the world at 11pm how uncool to be asleep this early but how grateful you are there’s something in the way you catch a mom smiling at her sleeping daughter as you walk into the aircraft unaware she’s being watched something about that unvoiced love and pride that she may never get to hear directly from her but i hope she does someday there’s something about knowing someone’s waiting for you on both ends of the planet because you’re oh so loved something about blankets woven with the same needle that knows your desires but also your deepest insecurities and how the owners of the needles are those you love the most ironically there’s something to be said for the silence that descends with the right person after a ceaseless noisy day something(/one) that dials down the chaos to nothingness something about falling to my knees every time i return home before my dogs get the chance to knock me over something about the unconditionality of it all something about knowing that my biggest concern is my friend moving 20 min away oh the first-world-problem-ness of it all something to be said for the privilege of having only shallow issues worrying about the next deadline and nothing more something about knowing if it all falls through there’s a home to come back to and another home waiting to be built with someone else there’s something about the uncertainty of tomorrow not being promised but making promises anyways because nothing fuels you like daydreaming the what ifs something about knowing the opposite of what you say happens but saying what you want anyways because hope is an unending well even if my arms waver while pulling the bucket up something about knowing there’s a line of people behind you waiting to help if the bucket gets stuck halfway something to be said for the irritation you feel towards the thermostat during the summer maybe you’re luckier than you know something about the soul-sucking job search and plastered-smile interviews but maybe it’s not so bad because a future is promised whether you want it or not so make it happen even if you don’t know what the next something is because every nothing is a something and not waking up is not an option not being loved is not an option thank god and every something leads somewhere whether you like it or not maybe embrace it wholeheartedly or dejectedly because there is something waiting at the end of unpromised tomorrows

Structurally inspired by Juliane Okot Bitek’s “Something” — a heavy heavy (but beautiful) poem worth reading!

https://journals.sfu.ca/capreview/index.php/capreview/article/view/3371/3361